Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention
Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I
look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch
table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage
can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the
garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take
out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to
my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside
so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I realize the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the ref riger ator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up
the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
The driveway is flooded, the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, there is still only one check in my check book, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then when I try to figure out why nothi ng got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.
Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember who I have send it to.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!